I haven’t read many autobiographies, so I was rather gambling when I
bought this autobiography of one of the most famous Catholic Saints: Teresa of Ávila.
Firstly because autobiography is usually serious; and this one, particularly,
is religious. Tough combination! But I don’t know why, this one is tempting me
since I put it in my WEM Project, and so….I dared myself to read it. In the
end, it is so worth it! Although Teresa’s writing is not quite chronologic—she used
to return to the past things related with the current issue that she might have
forgotten, or which she thinks now is important, while is wasn’t then—and she seems
to have difficulties to make things more clearly. But maybe this is because she
had restriction (from God or from her superiors at that time). But above all,
her autobiography is really inspiring.
I usually do the three levels inquiries for WEM, but this time I go
directly to review. I will still do the inquiries after this, though :). Now
about the book…..
Teresa of Ávila (Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada) was born at Ávila in 1515,
into a family with good virtues, which I believe is the solid foundation of her
own devotion to God in the age of six or seven. Her mother taught her to pray.
Unfortunately, at age 14, Teresa began to lose her virtues through bad friends’
influences and amusements of the world. Scared that she might fall to sin, her
parents took her to a convent, although with her bitterly aversion. The
secluded convent seemed to bring back Teresa’s virtues, however she began to
suffer from heart disease, and this forced her father to bring her out, and put
her in her relative’s.
Teresa took the habit at the Convent of the Incarnation on 3rd
November 1536, when she was 21 years old. Here she began to have great joy to
serve God. Meanwhile, her health got worsened, and so she must be brought out
of town for treatment, which unfortunately didn’t work as expected. It seemed
that God deliberately sent the illness for her to endure, and she did endure it
with patience. She was paralyzed for almost three years, yet she endured the
great torment with joy. At this stage she regretted her former sins, and took
St. Joseph as her advocate to God. However, once again she fell to sins because
the convent provided too much liberty for a restless nun like her. One day
Christ appeared before her, looking severe, telling her that her friendship
with her current friend displeased Him. While she still disobeyed, God appeared
in another vision.
Teresa was weary of her sin, that she lost her previous joy in virtuous
things. She abandoned her communing with God (meditation). Through her
confessors’ guidance, Teresa returned to her prayers, but she still lived two
lives: the earthly and the divine ones. But during those times, God never
ceased to veil her sins from public, as He knew that Teresa, deep in her heart,
always longed to serve Him. For twenty years Teresa fell and rose in her
spiritual life, again and again; this state disturbed her, but thank God, He
gave her courage to keep praying, because praying helps us to be nearer to Him,
as He will bear so long for us to come to Him.
Reading St. Augustine’s Confessions
has helped her to incline more to spiritual graces and to stay away from things
that did her harm. She taught us that there are four stages in prayer; the higher
the stage the more intimate we would be with God. After 5 or 6 years exercising
to 3rd stage of praying, Teresa was being accused and attacked by
people who said that it’s only her innovations. She was disturbed by this fuss,
and fell again to sins, until a Dominican Friar woke her up from it, and she
realized how God is never tired to forgiving sinners.
Teresa now often had an ecstasy, when God enraptured her. She was afraid
at first whether it was not a deception from the devils, however in many
visions and appearances God convinced her that it was from Him. God gave her
favours in the raptures and visions; He even brought her to visit Hell and
Heaven. The ‘tour’ to Hell was very horrible, that she couldn’t even describe
it in words. Not only the tortures to body—she felt greater pain than she had
ever endured on earth—but also the torture of soul, which was still much more
painful than of the body. With these favours, Teresa began to incline to save
souls, with the guidance from God.
God commanded her to found a convent of St. Joseph’s. Through so many
obstacles (that distressed Teresa so much, since, as usual, she was torn
between God’s promise that everything would be OK as this was His wish, and her
own thoughts that she was deceiving herself and others—which was clearly came
from the devils), the convent was finally founded on 1562. During the process, Teresa
received much opposition from others, including her colleagues and superiors,
and even her confessors. However, as this was a work from God—and God was extra
patience to convince the stubborn Teresa about it—the new convent was finally
established. People opposed it because it was a reformation of convent’s
standard system. St. Joseph’s convent took poverty as its main rule, and this
they did not accept dowry from new members—as the standard of convents at that
time—and strictly closed the convent from outer world so that the nuns could
focus their devotion mainly to God. It really fitted Teresa, whose sins were
mostly from her connection with the outer world.
---------
From this autobiography, I learned that Saints are ordinary people like
us; that although they have achieved higher step in spirituality: 1) They still
sinned every now and then. 2) It doesn’t mean that the devils stop tempting
them; the tighter your relation with God is, the bolder the devils would tempt
and attack you. They become even more aggressive now that the chance to snatch
the souls from God is smaller. The only consolation we get from God, is that He
won’t let us fall if we put 100% trust in His protection and keep on praying.
That is very relieved, but we almost always forget it during trials! :)
People who oppose Catholic and other Christian Church often attack us
by saying: If God loves us, why, while we are so devoutly to him, that He let
the devils tempt and attach us, that we must suffer much? Oh yes, God do let
them do it, as I read from Teresa’s words. God allows the devils to do that to
test our strength and to make us realize of His power to save us from harm.
That’s why, we mustn’t retreat from our virtuous life when trials come, but
strengthen it with more prayers and with humility.
One important fact that astonished me is the powerful effect of Holy
Water. Teresa told us that one day a devil appeared to her when she was praying;
she was afraid, so she raised a cross to it, and it soon went away. However, a
moment later it re-appeared. Teresa did the same action twice more, but the
devil kept coming. So, Teresa reached for Holy Water, and sprinkled it to the
devil, and this time it vanished and never returned. So great is the power of the
Holy Water!
There are so many valuable things I got from this inspiring book, a book
which Teresa has written by the guidance of God. Teresa then submitted the
manuscript to a Reverence to be published. She died on October 1582, but not
before she founded many more St. Joseph’s convents (the Carmelite nuns). Forty
years after her death, Teresa was canonized by Pope Gregory XV, and was named a
Doctor of the Church by Pope Paul VI.
Last but not least, here’s a lovely quote to help us all living this
hard lives….
“For
in this life we cannot always remain in the same state. Sometimes we are
fervent, and at other times not; sometimes we are restless and at other times
calm in spite of temptations. He told me to trust Him and not be afraid.”
In fact, Teresa’s life was like that, she was not a perfect human being,
but she kept loving God, did her best to please Him, and put her trust in Him.
We are not perfect either, and we might not become Saints, but we can do our best
to reach the eternal life as long as we put trust in Him to guide us.
Four and a half stars for this autobiography, for although it is very
inspiring, but so tough in reading, with the small fonts and Teresa’s
inconsistent writing and sometimes full of ramblings.
~~~~~~~~~
I read Penguin Classics paperback edition
*This book is counted
as:*
5th book for Baca Bareng BBI – September theme: biography