Goodbye Paris In July! Goodbye Papa! 👋🏼

I got through July with mixed feelings. The first half is full of joy and cheerfulness. I read a lot - four books - for Paris in July. I even got a chance to do virtual walking in Paris. All was well.

Then came the storm. On 16th July, my Parkinson's-father felt sharp pain in his right chest - he couldn't breathe without pain. We brought him to the ER, where they'd found an infection, Pneumonia-turned-sepsis in his lung. That night they put him in ICU. Two days later he passed away, only two days short of his 80th birthday.

My mother and I knew beforehand that the end is near because of Papa's worsening condition. So, we have prepared ourselves for the big day. We were constantly by his side during his last hours - together with Papa's two younger brothers - caressing him, showering him with love and forgiveness, saying goodbyes, and also prayers. We witnessed the continuing drops of Papa's vital signs (blood pressure, pulse, respiration) from the monitor, until he passed. I'm relieved that Papa didn't suffer during his passing, he was as peaceful as if falling to deep sleep.

After that, it's the exhausting business of burying a loved one, which you could probably have imagined. I've slept very little during that tough week, constantly making important decisions, being an only child. But thank God, my best friends came to the rescue (indeed, you'd realize who your true friends are in times like this!), and I could finally get through those trying moments. My books are also the silent but most reliable friends I could always count on.

This day, I am in process of re-constructing my life. I often miss Papa, but am relieved at the same time that his suffering has come to an end, and he now lives happily ever after with Our Father in heaven. One day we will be together again, but for now I must continue on without him.

I'm sorry for not having been much around the blogosphere lately - I miss visiting your blogs, leaving comments, and replying to your comments. Don't worry, I'll come around eventually! Meanwhile, here's my recap of Paris in July 2023:

Books read and reviewed:
The Mystery of the Yellow Room by Gaston Leroux
The President's Hat by Antoine Laurain
Letters from My Windmill by Alphonse Daudet
Dear Paris: The Paris Letters Collection by Janice MacLeod

Paris posts beyond reading:
A Walk in Paris: Montmartre District
My French Playlist


A huge thanks to Emma @ Words and Peace for hosting this wonderful event, and I really hope I can enjoy much more next year. But for now, I must say: Goodbye Paris in July 2023! Goodbye Papa! Au revoir! 👋🏼

Positive Things 2020 Has Brought Me So Far

I see almost everyday in twitter how people hate 2020; how they wish it to be over, or even cancelled. At the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, I felt the same thing. It had promised great many things, but it was all smashed down by the virus. Everything was restricted, every plan was cancelled. I was terrified and tired all the time. But after about three or four months, I began to get used to it. New habits formed, and life began to make sense again - for me, at least.

And now, six month after the first Covod-16 case was confirmed in Indonesia (and you know how bad our government handle it), I begin to notice things I haven't realized before. It is my belief that there's always positive thing(s) that emerge from every ordeal. The current Covid-19 pandemic is no exception.

Hygiene and healthy habits

Before Covid-19 (when did you realize that your world would always be divided between before and after Covid-16?) - well before Covid-19, I said, I thought I'm a quite hygiene person. Apparently not. I have used to change clothes after coming home from work (I take online public transportation), but then just laid down and relaxing on my bed without taking shower first! I realized now how wrong that was.

Another thing, how often do you wash your hands during the day? I used to arrive at office in the morning without washing hands, and just sat down and work. Since I love snacking, I'd touch my cookies or fruits every now and then with my apparently dirty hands! I only washed hands before lunch (crazy, isn't it?). Since Covid-19 I have felt much healthier than ever. My allergy kept coming back, but it didn't turn to more severe illness like I used to have before.

What matters most

For the last six months I stay at home, except for work and grocery shopping. The church was closed, and we were forced to celebrate mass from home, through live streaming. I was devastated at first, but then I realized how online services could effectively eliminate distractions of regular mass, such as: too friendly parishioners who love to talk to you when you actually want to pray alone (we go to mass to pray to God, anyway, not to meet neighbors, right?) Some people even talk to me when I was praying! Then there's the fashionable people (sight distraction), or too loud a choir, or even the market stall outside the church who was roasting satay when the mass is still on, letting us to feel hungry by the smell!

I realized now how many distractions could occur in just one hour of mass, when we should have focused solely to God. No wonder I always felt so exhausted, bodily, after mass, but felt nothing in my soul. And these distractions are now completely eliminated by online mass. Nowadays I can attend the mass peacefully, wholly involved in the prayer and worship, feeling refreshed after each mass, and realize what matters most: my relationship with God.

Reading and blogging

You might have perhaps noticed how productive I have been, blogging-wise, since April. It's because suddenly I found time to do it. Staying at home, no visits to mall, no hangout with friends, no church events (which in the end don't really help my soul) - I thought I would be bored after a few months. But no, I spent hours every weekend for blog posts writing (usually two posts) and reading. And you know what, I've never felt satisfied and happier since long time ago. Hanging out with friends is fun, but at the end of the day, it's more exhausting than fulfilling. Not mentioning the quality time I can spend for... doing nothing!

I know that not everyone enjoys the same condition, many of you are probably struggling with either health or financial issue. The pandemic sucks, but please don't think about annihilating 2020. You'd never know what'd happen next. Being alive right now, and doing your best to keep your loved ones healthy and happy, isn't it nice and gratifying? And don't forget, Chrismast is only three months away (and I miss it very much!) Pandemic or not, you can always celebrate Christmas, if not with friends, artleast celebrate it with your self. Remember, there's always hope and positive things in every ordeal!